The world is my mistress

The world is my mistress,
my love.
I cannot bear to go from her.
If I must go,
I must go free.
I must go without regret
and without the burden of others' expectation.
I must go a traveler.

-11/06/15

Cloud of Smoke

In the cloud of smoke,
the mask comes off and the mirror comes up.
What do I see?
A poet? A sage?
It doesn't matter.
I see my face. My true face;
Clear and unguarded.

Lee Carroll
4/01/2013

New Direction

My wife and I have been talking a lot lately about what our interests are and in what ways we can continue to grow individually and together.  She suggested that I use this rediscovered blog as a place to talk about one of my passions; coffee.   I don't actually know very much about coffee but she suggested that I talk about the strengths and weaknesses of various cafes in Seoul, South Korea.  I look forward to the research. I don't know if it will go much further than that.

The Things We Find

I recently stumbled upon this blog.  It is funny how we find all these different ways of connecting and expressing our inner thoughts and yet we seem to forget about them.  These days, we have Facebook, Twitter, Google +, etc.  Even these popular social media sites are easy to forget about or neglect.  My wife and I were reminiscing about college the other day and we remembered our forsaken Xanga sites.  I'm ashamed to say that I visited my site and I was quite amused at how much I have changed in such a short time.  To bring this rambling to an end, I guess I'm saying that it is interesting that, in this age of connectivity, it is so easy to lose 'connections' when we find 'better' ways of connecting.

A NEW BEGINNING

As our time in Korea comes to an end, we have a lot of mixed emotions. We have come to love Korea: the people, the places, the language. We have been in this small and somewhat unknown country for a year. It has been the longest job I have had and it has been our first real home as a married couple. We have made some really good friends and we have had a lot of great adventures but it is time for something new.

We are finishing out last month of teaching and we are starting to look for jobs in America. We have the problem of needing a place to live but first we need a job. Before we can get jobs, we need to know where we are going to live. Do we need to find apartments or try for a small house to rent? Should we look for a place in a smaller town or closer to a city? This will also be our first time entering the US job market. Should we look for long term careers or jobs to tide us over until one of us goes back to school? We have a lot of questions and few answers.

Even though a year does not seem like a long time, it is long enough for lots of things to change. What will life be like back in the US? We haven't driven or been to Walmart in a year.The places, the people: what will have changed? How will our families and friends have changed? Even if it doesn't seem like much, people change in some way. If nothing else, people will have different stories and new inside jokes. We will have our fair share also but it seems strange trying to return to our friends who have had a totally different year than we had. It may be strange or awkward at first, but we look forward to catching up with old friends and family.

With that said, we are terribly excited about going home to see our family and friends. We have not seen our families or friends in a year. We have a lot we want to share with them and a lot to catch up on. We both love our families greatly and it was hard to leave in the first place but now we are going back and the excitement is almost unbearable. We get to hang out with people who not only speak our language but also share a history with us. These are the people who knew what we were thinking almost the same time we did. These people have laughed with us and cried with us. This new beginning brings joy, a little uneasiness, and some anxiety but we are ready for the new adventure.

Korea, we will miss you. We will miss your strangeness and your familiarity. We will miss the parts that feel like a foreign country and the parts that feel like home. This part of our lives must come to an end. To use the already overused adage, every end is just a new beginning.

AN INTERESTING EXPERIENCE

This weekend, Nicki and I went to Haebin and Anthony's Korean wedding. It was really nice. It was very different but it was nice. Korean wedding are like factory line. There is a wedding every hour and each party is expected to clear out in time for the next. Dispite the unusual set up, unusual to westerners at least, it was a lovely ceremony. We got to try our hand at singing Korean hymns and didn't really know what was being said. Afterwards, we found out that groom had to repeat his vows in Korean as well. Good job Anthony. After the wedding, we hung out to visit with some friends from the states. We felt like we were imposing but the Lee family was very welcoming. After eating and waiting for the newly weds to do the usual post wedding thank yous and such, we went out to eat dinner. On the subway back to the grooms apartment, a Korean man walked down the subway and slung water, or at least tried to sling water on our group. This was a very strange and uncommon experience. This caused quite a lot of frustration because it wasn't our place to confront the elderly man and no one else did. On a side note, Nicki and I thought it was a little funny but are very sorry it happened on a wedding day and to people who were visiting Korea for the first time. After some people got changed and we decided where to eat we went out for dinner. We had some very excellent Bibimbap. Due to our unexpected presence, sorry about that, we had some confucion getting back to the apartments and working out where we were going to stay. Dinner was a little late so we missed the last train back to Ansan. We decided to stay the night in a jjimjilbang. It was a very tiring day and there was some frustration as is to be expected on wedding days but over all, it was an excellent day. I would like to express, even though the receipients will probably not read this, our extreme gratitude towards the Lee family and the Wotring family (new and old) for letting us share in there special day and for treating us to dinner and the jjimjilbang.

Never Judge a Jjimjil Bang by its Lights

This past weekend, we took a road trip to southern South Korea. There is a lot to say about this trip but I've decided to write about only one part of the experience.

We decided that we could save money by staying the night in a jjimjil bang. Jjimjil bangs are Korean bath houses. Yes, you do bath naked in front of total strangers but mom, don't worry, the baths are segregated. I know that this sounds like a terribly awkward situation but it is actually fun.

The way that jjimjil bangs usually work is that you pay around 7-8 thousand won for unlimited use of the showers, saunas, and common room. When you pay the cashier, you receive a pair of "stylish" pj's which actually resemble PE uniforms. After you get your pj's, the men and women part ways and head off to their designated areas. Each area, well, at least the men's area, has a locker room where you undress and get any towels or wash clothes that you need. These are Korean sized towels which does cause some anxiety at first. Then you can go to the shower room. This is were the strangeness happens. The first time I went to a jjimjil bang, I was told that it is very important to thoroughly wash even if you are already clean. I guess this is to relieve any suspicions that the oegugins (foreigners) are trying to spread their diseases. I would like to point out that it is not uncommon to see fathers and sons scrubbing each other. This sounds very strange to westerners but it isn't that weird to be around. Also, there is not nearly as much staring as one might think.

After a good thorough scrubbing, it is time to get in the hot/cold baths. This is where a good jjimjil bang differs from a mediocre jjimjil bang. The jjimjil bang that we stayed at in or near Tongyeong had a very bright and luxurious facade but the interior was just mediocre. It only had one hot bath and one cold bath. The jjimjil bang in Ansan that I've been to, was much better even though it is in a building complex.

In the bath rooms (not to be confused with bathrooms), most jjimjil bangs also have steam rooms and massage tables. There is something fun and relaxing about going from hot to cold then back to hot baths and then relaxing in a steam room. Being naked does take getting used to but it really isn't that bad. Most of the anxiety is nothing more of encountering the unfamiliar than anything else, but I digress.

When you have had your fill of being naked, you can dry off and put your pj's on. In the locker room, you can also use take extra time to clean your ears, brush your teeth, blow dry your hair, etc. After you finishing primping and putting on your pj's (making sure they are not on backwards of course), you go to the common room. The common room will have a snack bar, massage chairs, exercise equipment, PC's, a TV, and floor mats. It also has heated floors or ondul flooring. This is where we slept even though there was a separate sleeping room in the Tongyeoung jjimjil bang.

Everyone except for Joey, our Korean friend, had trouble sleeping. Our "bedding" consisted of a slightly larger towel and, if you are lucky, a "pillow." The pillows were hard foam blocks and in some cases, blocks of wood with a semicircle cut out for your head. Despite the minor discomforts and chorus of snores, jjimjil bangs are fun and cheap places to spend a night or just an evening.

The new Colosseum

Nicki and I decided to stay in Ansan this Saturday. We went to Jungang to do some shopping and decided to see a movie while we were there. We went to Meganex and our choices of English movies was very limited. We decided to watch The Watchmen. First of all, DO NOT WATCH THE WATCHMEN. It may have been the worst movie I have ever seen. Secondly, I am beginning to worry about the direction in which Hollywood is going.

I don't know if the comic book is any better but this film was absolutely repulsive. I think that it had a lot of potential and the the theme could have been excellent. In my opinion, the whole movie and any redemptive qualities it could have had were ruined by the grotesque violence and explicit sex scenes. Movies have made their points and have been entertaining for a long time without such gross scenes. As we discussed after the movie, it is also an insult to human imagination to show things so explicitly.

After seeing this movie, I am reminded of the Colosseum. It seems that Hollywood is having to feed the masses more and more graphic materials to appease us. I have wondered about Hollywood for a long time. War movies have gotten much more graphic but at the same time, "War is Hell." Sex is also much more prominent on the silver screen. It has always or at least almost always been there but never this revealing. Directors use to only hint at what was going on. Now, I feel like I should be the creepy middle-aged man living in his mom's basement when I see a movie. I strongly believe in freedom of speech and I oppose censorship but I really am worried about the direction in which Hollywood is leading America. Not to mention America is asking Hollywood to take us there.

That is all I have for now. I would highly recommend not watching The Watchmen unless you like smut or unless you are terribly curious.

It is funny how hard choosing a career can be. I know I want to do something but I just don't know what it is that I want to do. It is also funny how it is much easier to decide what one does not want to do as opposed to deciding what one wants to do. I am going on my fifth month as an English teacher and I know one thing...I do not want to teach English for the rest of my life. Now, along with the definite "no's" comes many "maybe's." I can't decide if I would like to teach or not. The only thing I know is that I do not want to teach English as a second language.
My schedule is very conducive to thinking and so I do a lot of it. When I figured out that I do not want to teach English, I began the very pain staking task of deciding what I want to do. Should I teach math? If so, where? Do I want to go into Engineering? If so, what kind? Maybe I want to be a contractor. Is that a waste of my time at Erskine? These are just a few of the questions that seem to continuously race through my head.
Along with the question of career, I start to think of life in general. What is God's purpose for my life? Should I seek out an active role in ministry? Is God calling me to do this or that? Or are these just my desires? I guess this is not a unique problem. I have been told that almost all young graduates go through this. Now I have the question "does being abroad make these questions harder?"

Recently, I have finished reading "Searching for God Knows What" by Donald Miller. I really enjoyed the book. Sometimes I got distracted by his writing style but overall, it is a very good book. The message is a very practical and well needed message. I think Miller accurately points out what so many young Christians and maybe even older Christians are searching for. I would highly recommend this book to anyone who has the conviction that there is more to Christianity than simple feel good messages.

New places and New friends

I know this is a topic that I have already mentioned but I think it necessary to revisit. I am reminded that I am very fortunate to have come to ECC Ansan and not some other Hogwon (I don't know the correct spelling). ECC is a great organization and even though I had to go to another boring teacher refresher course this month, I can't complain.
We went hiking Thursday as a group of co-workers but it felt more like a group of friends than anything else. The group was made up of our boss Mr. Kim, most of the foreign teachers and one Korean teacher. It seemed somewhat like an odd group and yet there wasn't any kind of awkwardness apart from the usual; sometimes the language barrier is very evident even when everyone present speaks English.
The hike was quite difficult and we all had a wide range of skill level. I think the difficulty of the hike gave us a common bond (I know that sounds terribly cheesy but that is life). I found it very interesting that the conversation shifted so easily not only with regards to topic but also with people. A lot of times one finds themselves sticking with fellow hikers of similar ability and thus the same conversation but this did not seem the case. I do confess that some of us, myself included, found ourselves lagging far behind but we always seemed to catch up.
To get to the point, I find it very interesting that a group of almost strangers would enjoy each other's company so much. I am not the kind of person who can have conversations with people very easily. Those of you who have met me probably noticed that. My point is that most co-workers will talk only to past time at work but it seems like, dare I say it, the ECC Ansan family is different. I don't just mean among the foreign teachers either. Even though the Korean teachers have their own separate lives outside of ECC, they do find time to do things with the foreign teachers off the clock.
This may just be the innocent ramblings of a young man new to the work force but I think that ECC Ansan is not your usual work environment.
For those of you who have made it to the end of this post, I congratulate you. Go in peace.

It is official. Fall has swooped down and smacked me in the face. I don't know if this is usual for South Korea or not but one day it was hot and very much summer and then the next it is definitely fall. I attributed the cool weather to the rain at first but today was clear and very much cool. I'm glad that it is fall and I hope that Korean falls are as nice as American falls. That is all I have for now. Later.

Well, I'm back. I don't have very much to say. I'm starting to get in the groove of teaching. I am, however, still very self-conscious about how well I'm teaching. Most of my classes consist of fairly rowdy children. Most of them will calm down and participate but I still don't know if they are actually learning any English or if they are just repeating the sounds that I make. So far, I have encountered two problems in my classes. Either the students talk too much, in Korean, or they do not talk at all. That is enough about work.
We have done some traveling but there is still much more to see. We have made two trips into Seoul and both have been quite enjoyable. We have found that the best way to learn about a city is to walk around. On our last trip to Seoul, we discovered an awesome market that I think is called Namdaemun or something of that sort. It was impressive because of how much stuff was there. There was a wide range of nice things to some very cheap products. To get a better idea of our travels, visit www.humzoo.com/Lee_and_Nicki .
We have also started trying to learn Korean. This is proving very difficult especially for me. Not only are the written characters very different from the English language but there are also some very subtle differences in sounds that my southern ear and twang just can't quite distinguish.
Well, after reading over this post I have realized that I am rambling. It is time for me to go now. Until next time, An nyawng hee kye se yo

We have finally started teaching at ECC Ansan. The first day was quite overwhelming. Teaching would be intimidating enough but we are teaching kids who primarily speak a different language. We do have to confess that God has blessed us beyond measure. We are constantly reminded of His goodness when we meet a new friend or find out how great our experience has been thus far. Our flight was very nice. We also have had more of an orientation than many of the other foreign teachers at ECC. Also, our apartment is way beyond what we could have hoped for (three bed and two bath). Even when we feel desperately out of place, we realize that God will provide.
We have already experienced some cultural difficulties. We have come to find out that there is a lot less English than I had expected. I admit that I probably expected too much English. Despite the language barrier, we have managed fairly well so far. Pointing and grunting seems to work in many shops and we are able to "play it safe" on things like rice and pasta in the grocery store. This is all I have for now but there are and will be plenty more adventures to tell of. Later.

We finally made it to Korea and what an adventure. More will be coming soon.

I am about to embark on a once in a life time journey. I am going to South Korea to teach English; yes, English. I may be a Math major but you do what you have to to get a job. I will probably use this blog to log my experiences but I will also probably use it for the same old boring stuff. Until next time.

I've come to the end of the semester and it seems like this week will never be over. I had dreamed of a light last semester but unfortunately I had not planned accordingly. The thing that is keeping me the busiest is Senior Seminar. This wouldn't have been such a bad project if I had just figured out what I needed to do before I started. Now that I have started I find more and more things that I should have done. Sometimes I wish that I could just get it over with even if I'm not quite ready. My advice to anyone who may read this post is to always do thorough planning before you start an important project. A little bit of planning, real planning, goes a long ways. Go in peace.

This is not a real big complaint but I do find it somewhat ironic. I find it funny that people continue to complain about the Mirror and about things like the mission statement and yet the Erskine Mirror blog is hardly used at all. I also find it funny that the student forum isn't used either. I know that these blogs may not post the issues that we want to discuss but that is one of the best things about blogs; they are two way. You may say "the author of the Mirror blog has to approve comments before they are posted so I don't even bother." It is true that comments must first be approved. My suggestion is to try anyways and let me know if you are rejected. Save your post and if it is respectful, I will be glad to fight for your right to post on a school run blog. I don't know if any of this is actually relevant but I thought I would post it anyways.

here are some sites to look at:
http://erskinemirrorblog.blogspot.com/
http://ishmael.typepad.com/sf/

Question: Is Capitalism compatible with Christianity?